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<b><font color="ff0000">THE TRUE GENTLEMAN</font></b><blockquote>THE true gentleman carefully avoids<blockquote>whatever may cause a jar or jolt in the minds of those with whom he is cast; <BR> all clashing of opinion, or <BR> collision of feeling, <BR> all restraint, or <BR> suspicion, or <BR> gloom, or <BR> resentment; </blockquote>his great concern being to make everyone at their ease and at home. <BR> <BR>He has his eyes on all his company;<blockquote>he is tender towards the bashful, <BR> gentle towards the distant, and <BR> merciful towards the absurd; </blockquote>he can recollect to whom he is speaking; <BR>he guards against <blockquote>unseasonable allusions or <BR> topics which may irritate; </blockquote>he is seldom prominent in conversation, and <blockquote>never wearisome. </blockquote>He makes light of favours while he does them, <BR>and seems to be receiving when he is conferring. <BR> <BR>He never speaks of himself except when compelled, <BR>never defends himself by a mere retort; <BR>he has no ears for slander or gossip, <BR>is scrupulous in imputing motives to those who interfere with him, <BR>and interprets everything for the best. <BR> <BR>He is never mean or little in his disputes, <blockquote>never takes unfair advantage, <BR> never mistakes personalities or <BR> sharp sayings for arguments, or <BR> insinuates evil which he dare not say out. </blockquote>From a long-sighted prudence, <BR> he observes the maxim of the ancient sage, that <BR> we should ever conduct ourselves towards our enemy <BR> as if he were one day to be our friend. <BR> <BR>He has too much sense to be affronted at insults, <BR>he is too well employed to remember injuries, and <BR>too indolent to bear malice. <BR> <BR>He is patient, forbearing, and resigned, on philosophical principles;<blockquote>he submits to pain because it is inevitable, <BR>to bereavement because it is irreparable, <BR>and to death because it is destiny.</blockquote> If he engage in controversy of any kind, <blockquote>his disciplined intellect preserves him from the blundering discourtesy <blockquote>of better, perhaps, but less educated minds, <BR> who, like blunt weapons, tear and hack instead of cutting clean, <BR> who mistake the point in argument, <BR> waste their strength on trifles, <BR> misconceive their adversary, <BR> and leave the question more involved than they find it.</blockquote></blockquote>—J. H. Newman <BR> <BR><a href="http://www.adventistarchives.org/docs/PT/PT18910521-V07-11__C/index.djvu?djvuopts&page=6" target=_top>http://www.adventistarchives.org/docs/PT/PT1891052 1-V07-11__C/index.djvu?djvuopts&page=6</a></blockquote> <BR><font color="ffffff"><font size="-2">.</font></font>
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the Gentleman as described by Confucius: <BR> <BR>"The gentleman is not only compasssionate but is wise, <BR>is aware of the difference between right and wrong, <BR>is a judge of good character, <BR>and is possessed of self-knowledge. <BR>He does not blindly follow others and does not allow external circumstances to dictate his or her disposition. <BR> <BR>For Confucius, cultivating <i>ren </i>involves following a version of the Golden Rule, which also entails reciprocity. By understanding our own wishes, he thought, we may imagine what others desire. He also spoke of humaneness in the language of love, summarizing <i>ren </i> as the "love of others."
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